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2017: The Year We Should Stop Asking for Easy

If there is an easy way why do I have to make it hard for myself? Why should I suffer? Why do I have to endure the pain? Why do I have to put in the hard work? Why stress myself out?

In summary, I don’t want to feel uncomfortable but that’s what happening in my professional life right now and it’s triggering a fight and flight response from me. After weeks of becoming too stressed I’ve already begun hatching my flight plan (literally and figuratively). Without going down into the nitty-gritty, in the weeks before the holidays, my emotions have been spiraling out of control (think Carrie Mathison when she’s off her meds). It reached the point when I started questioning my knowledge and capabilities and strength of character.




The knee-jerk reaction is to leave and find other possibilities. I would leave every meeting feeling like a boulder is sitting on my chest. I would go home feeling like my entire life has been spent. I began to look forward to the end of the day and dreaded the start of it. The ill feelings have returned, the first sign of which is poetry. I do not write poetry when I am happy, I do it when I’m in the middle of despair. And despair is what I had been feeling from thinking that I couldn’t seem to do anything right. If people have begun feeling disappointed in me, I already beat them to it. Lately, I am anything but happy with myself.

I confided to a friend and he said that wherever I go, there will always be challenges. It’s how I deal with the challenges that would make a difference. Of course I don’t have to be a genius to see the wisdom in that statement. But my heart was rebelling and I couldn’t accept that things have to be difficult. I was ready to give up, I was already contemplating about my escape plan, I was even consulting some friends about it, then I saw this video.

Stop asking for easy.”

You know that feeling when you’ve been talking for hours with some people then you suddenly catch your reflection in the mirror and found to your horror that you have something in your teeth? That’s how it felt when I saw this video. I felt a deep sense of shame that I was complaining and wanting to get out because things are difficult. I am ashamed because I want to be successful yet at the first sign of hardship all I could think of was fleeing.

“Everybody wants the prize but nobody wants to pay the price.” — besomebody.com

Call it fate, law of attraction, or a message from God, the point is, I got the memo. In under 2 minutes, I realized that I am being a cowardly, whiny, egotistical b*tch. My work is being criticized repeatedly and what did I feel? Like a loser who couldn’t do anything good, that’s what. I took the criticism as an insult instead of a reason to improve my work.

I take great pride in what I do, yet I have forgotten why I was proud of it in the first place, which is not everyone, not even all writers, can do what I do. And the reason not everyone can do what I do is because IT IS NOT EASY! [Read: The Job I Constantly have to Explain to People]

“You should want it to be hard because then no one can replicate what you create.” — besomebody.com

I believe that god or the universe steers us in the right path when we start to lose sight of our goal. I believe this video is it for me, a some sort of a divine intervention to tell me that I should quit whining and stop asking for easy. Likewise, it reminded me that it is when I’m uncomfortable that I’m able to do great things. Every friendship bracelet that I created was a result of hours of sitting and crouching, and terrible back pain. Every story that I wrote when I was still in school was the aftermath of skipping meals and pain in my upper extremities from using an old typewriter. Every event or trip that I’ve organized was a result of careful planning and patience in coordinating with people involved. Every mountain that I conquered was an eventuality of an endless walk, shortened breath, leg strain, and a gallon of sweat. My successes be it big or small didn’t come out of thin air; they were all a result of some pain and hardwork.

Benjamin Hardy says in his Medium article,

“Most people aren’t willing to feel difficult emotions on a regular basis. However, if you’re willing to disregard how you feel in the moment, you’ll have access to a world of opportunity unavailable to 99% of the population.”

And I am not sure if you are on the same boat, but if you are I hope that 2017 is the year we do great things. To do that, let’s choose to set aside our personal feelings to get the job done. Let us double our effort. Let us lower our egos so we can learn. Let us find inspiration when we become dishearten. Let us get our hands dirty and finish what we’ve started. Let us take a breather when we become tired, but we shall never give up.

This is the year we are going to stop living with limits. 2017 is the year we stop asking for easy.  

 

 

39 Comments

  • Reply
    Imee
    June 6, 2017 at 11:56 PM

    This one’s very inspiring, my team is gonna watch this later during huddle. 🙂

  • Reply
    michymichymoo
    February 20, 2017 at 7:26 PM

    So much feels for this, Marge. I have been trying my best to adjust in my new life and studies, and sometimes I still feel lost. But this post makes a lot of sense. I remember telling my boyfie that I find grad school a bit scary, and he told me that if it isn’t scary then it’s not worth doing. Let’s conquer for more challenges this year. Aja! 🙂

  • Reply
    Jane M
    February 14, 2017 at 9:59 AM

    “And I am not sure if you are on the same boat, but if you are I hope that 2017 is the year we do great things. To do that, let’s choose to set aside our personal feelings to get the job done. Let us double our effort. Let us lower our egos so we can learn. Let us find inspiration when we become dishearten. Let us get our hands dirty and finish what we’ve started. Let us take a breather when we become tired, but we shall never give up.” —- I love this. Everything single word. These same words is what I keep telling myself, just to get through every challenge I have here living in France. Thank you for sharing and we will get through this! As what the french says, Bon courage! ❤️

  • Reply
    Teresa Dumadag
    January 19, 2017 at 1:45 PM

    Life is not easy most of the time. One of the most important skills we need to learn to be successful is problem-solving. When we master this skill, we don’t need to wish things to be easy. 🙂 We learn to navigate through our challenges with grace. 🙂

  • Reply
    juliasan
    January 11, 2017 at 5:01 PM

    Wow, Marge! This is really motivating. – and also a great article. 🙂 Thanks for sharing it!

  • Reply
    Andi
    January 10, 2017 at 9:48 PM

    Awww, Marge!!! I am in the middle of this situation right now and I am in despair and am very stressed right now. After reading this, I guess I am just ranting and all. But seriously, I believe that I am just not happy anymore with my work. I don’t get the fulfillment and motivation to get me going. But I am stuck. I can’t leave the company because of fear and comfort zone. HUHUHU 🙁

    • Reply
      Marjorie Gavan
      January 10, 2017 at 10:23 PM

      Hello Andi, I am so sorry to hear that. I’m not privy to the entire story so all I’m going to say is, “you got this.” Whatever you think you need to do, whether you stay or leave, it’s all up to you. It’s okay to be afraid, it’s what you do with that fear that would make the difference. If you are not sure about what you are going to do right now, don’t worry. It will come to you eventually. And when you do find out, I hope you have the courage to pursue it. 🙂

      • Reply
        Andi
        January 19, 2017 at 7:02 PM

        Thank you so much !!! 🙂

  • Reply
    Melissa
    January 10, 2017 at 5:23 PM

    Powerful video. I wish you the best this 2017. Life will always get tough, but we are way tougher. Believe in that girl, I know you’ll live this year and make it a great one.

  • Reply
    Ma. Clarice Lao
    January 10, 2017 at 11:53 AM

    This is spot-on. I am so stressed today and crazily busy in the next few weeks. For the past few days, I have been asking myself why did I even want to do this. Backing out is out of the question since everything has been sealed with a contract. I just ask myself why I am being hard on myself and why not take on the easy route.

    Then, I read this. I remember that I came up with all these ideas because of a dream which will never be easy to reach unless I work hard for it. So, thank you for reminding me.

  • Reply
    Aika
    January 8, 2017 at 10:20 PM

    very inspiring. I have come this point before.. i am questioning my capabilities. i have reached the point of being depressed and anxious. i am consistently asking my self what’s wrong with me. just like you, i am thankful i resorted to talking to my friends. yes, things you want cant be that easy to be grabbed. everything needs to be worked on. i love this write up. i can see myself while reading this, *teary eyed*

  • Reply
    cathy
    January 8, 2017 at 11:28 AM

    Things are never easy, and I have this belief that great things never came from struggles, never ever easy. Diba? Though, we are humans and we can conquer anything in this world! Use this hashtag next #akopaba! haha apir! We are friends so let’s be more positive and grateful this 2017! Cheers to that and see you real soon! Woot!

  • Reply
    Maria
    January 7, 2017 at 2:58 PM

    Life is complicated. For some people, it may be easier to just quit than to fight for what do you want. Some need to realize also that facing challenges or difficulties would make them better. A person’s perspective may still be changed towards things which is why one of my fave quotes: Per Aspera Ad Astra applies.

  • Reply
    Johna
    January 7, 2017 at 4:48 AM

    Love this!!! It made me excited for 2017. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I know (I just have a feeling) it’s going to be a great year. I wish you the best year! Can’t wait to read more blogs from you in the future 😀

  • Reply
    Veronica
    January 6, 2017 at 5:21 PM

    Just like you, I also love it when it is easy! More to that, we only have one life, why complicate things?
    Although we cannot control the obstacles, we can control our attitude. So it is really our choice if we should take these things easy or complicated.

  • Reply
    Swayam tiwari
    January 6, 2017 at 3:10 PM

    I am inspired by your post and hereby re-dedicate to living life without asking for easy things in life.
    I would like to share an inspiring thing that I read today in the morning papers. The 2016 Olympics champion in badminton says that during her training , her coach told Carrie( the champ)that he would not give the same training to his daughter or sister. Because, Carrie was of made of a different mettle, she won the Olympics Gold Medal. Keep it up Marge.

  • Reply
    Carmen
    January 6, 2017 at 9:37 AM

    Yes! This is how I was feeling about taking control of my fitness! I kept thinking that somehow it would just get easier, not recognising that I would have to work for it.

    Now I wake up at 5:45am and I get myself ready and I make it to the gym! You have to work for what you want, nothing is handed to you.

    I’m glad the video helped you gain perspective ?

  • Reply
    JerNy
    January 6, 2017 at 5:44 AM

    I symphatize with your post, Marge. I felt exactly the same way with my previous job. It was easy, the job I mean, but I was terribly unhappy. I know it’s different from being challenged but as professionals, we know how being unhappy is different from being challenged. That’s what happened. I’m currently jobless, but i think I rewarded myself one great move.
    I know and I feel 2017 is better, let’s cheers to that!

  • Reply
    GIORGOS SPYRIDAKOS
    January 6, 2017 at 12:53 AM

    After reading that I was ready to jump off my chair and start doing…I DONT KNOW WHAT!! BUT SOMETHING! The video is amazing, breathtaking I can say.
    To be honest you ‘ve got me with the Carrie mention…! 🙂
    I wish the best for you this year!

  • Reply
    jared's mum
    January 6, 2017 at 12:47 AM

    It is true, everything that is worthwhile is not going to be easy. Humans as we are, we tend to always look for the easy way out or to quit when things get hard. But nothing good comes easy. This is why we ought to persevere and persist no matter what the odds and no matter what tough the situation might get. Thank you for this timely reminder. May we all stop asking for what is easy and simple this 2017!

  • Reply
    Nilyn
    January 5, 2017 at 11:50 PM

    Thank you for this wonderful post! I have to admit, I’m one of those who wants to go the easy route. I mean, who wouldn’t right? I personally think I am productive if I’m able to do many easy tasks. But you are so right, what makes us extraordinary is the fact that we do the extraordinary. I should start thinking about my year and how I can make it above the normal. 😀 Cheers to 2017! About work, you can do it! You don’t have that if you’re not capable of doing it in the first place. 🙂

  • Reply
    SiennyLovesDrawing
    January 5, 2017 at 11:44 PM

    Very true! In life, easy & smooth sailing make us not learning though. Personally, I find I learn best when there are hard moment! It may not be feeling good at that time, but once we get over it, we will appreciate the hard moment & satisfied that we have concurred it! So more challenges are welcome to make us a better person. Cheers, SiennyLovesDrawing

  • Reply
    LC
    January 5, 2017 at 11:30 PM

    Your friend is so right. There will always be challenges, wherever you go. I try to remember that nothing is forever – hard moments pass and there is always good to look forward to. I’m sorry your professional situation is getting you down in that regard, but keep on swimming and you’ll get through it eventually. 🙂

  • Reply
    Erica M Poyauan
    January 5, 2017 at 11:11 PM

    I’m glad you got this divine intervention. Indeed help comes when we need it the most. hmmm This year could be a year to stop asking for easy or a year to embrace you are tougher than this tough life.

  • Reply
    ROBERT LEE | Amazing Life Daily
    January 5, 2017 at 6:24 PM

    When hard becomes easy, then everything else is a breeze, isn’t it? Accept what is given, adapt and turn 2017 your year. Make a commitment to excellence, not only in work but also in mind. Do not be unfazed, because if you chooses so, then this is your best year yet. At the end of the day, no matter what other people do or say, take it as a challenge to improve yourself even better but they do not pull you down because they are not living your life. You are.

  • Reply
    Erwin Manalad
    January 5, 2017 at 7:08 AM

    hey Marge, you know my situation right now, I’m unemployed and on the look out for job opportunities, well it ain’t easy, and it never will be easy to look for that perfect job, and so does having a job, stress will always be there, but with or without a job, having difficulties makes us tough and smart, and I think that’s what life is really about, always learning, and although sometimes we learn it the hard way, I think the best lessons in life that were going to get are those from that stiff climb.

  • Reply
    Stargazer
    January 5, 2017 at 1:50 AM

    Well for me, you’re right when you said that we need to stop whining. However, I always believe that the easier it is, the better. But I don’t ask for easy. Instead, I find a way to have it my way, the easier way.

  • Reply
    Martine
    January 4, 2017 at 4:16 PM

    Hey, Amari! (May I call you that?) Great post, and I DO know how it feels, especially when you doubt yourself. Last year was a year of self-doubt for me, because it was a year that (I thought) did not start out right. I also watched this video on Facebook (the one you wrote about), and related much to it. From it, I learned to “Choose my ‘hard’,” that is, to choose from one hard situation vs. the hard work it will take for me to get to the next level of my life. In my case, it’s financial freedom. It’s NOT going to be easy to create another income stream (and the one I am working on this year is a passive income), but I will CHOOSE the hard work of making the passive income a reality, because it will reap SO MUCH more than the hardship of trying to live by a solely freelance income. I wish you all the best, from one freelancer to another!

  • Reply
    Jon Espina
    January 4, 2017 at 2:46 PM

    Hi Marge! Totally inspired by your work here. Me too, I’m also stressed with my job and working long hours everyday. You know I leave the house before dawn and I get home late at night. Not a funny story of my life. And then I also work on my blog. But you’re right nothing is gonna be easy.. Naks full of wisdom. 🙂

    I also agree with what you said that God or the universe steers us in the right path when we start to lose sight of our goal. Tinamaan ako hahaha Early 2016 when my father passed away, I didn’t update my blog for more than a month, With that enormous pain in my heart and aggravated with the long hours and stress at work, I thought about shutting down my blog. Seriously! I was also in debt by paying off large medical bills and I was hopeless. But it was also a time when some opportunities to travel for free and sponsorships came in. And I realized it was His sign for me not to give up and continue writing. The fact that working on the blog is never easy, all that writing, social media promotion and some tweaking on your site. It’s crazy hard work. But you’re right, I should stop asking for what’s easy. So 2017? bring it on! Hahaha!

    • Reply
      Marjorie Gavan
      January 4, 2017 at 3:06 PM

      Hey Jon!

      Thanks for reading and I’m happy that it was able to inspire you. Thanks also for sharing your story when you almost quit blogging. You should never quit it, you are one of the best bloggers there is. You serve as an inspiration to people like us who have a full-time job but love to travel. 🙂

  • Reply
    Arni
    January 4, 2017 at 2:22 PM

    Hello Marge, I feel you. Reflective posts of yours like this one are so enlightening to read. It’s ok to feel tired and tempted to flee when things get tough but I do salute you for being aware of it and I can feel your determination to push forward regardless. Fight fight fight..I just finished watching the movie Greater and the true to life hero in the film was really inspiring. Happy 2017!

    • Reply
      Marjorie Gavan
      January 4, 2017 at 2:28 PM

      Hi Arni, Happy New Year! Thank you for the kind words. I am doing and will continue to do my best. 🙂

  • Reply
    Sam Coronado (@followyouroad)
    January 4, 2017 at 8:15 AM

    Hi Marge! This is an enlightening post for me. I completely agree on taking the hard way. The past three months, I’ve been having a difficult time balancing work and studies and travel. But it really has made me go beyond what I currently feel (tired, lazy, slow) and just push beyond to make things possible. In the end, I think my journey has been enriched and even has made it unique. I’ve never been more in tune with my life than now. Hope 2017 will be a great year for us! 🙂

    • Reply
      Marjorie Gavan
      January 4, 2017 at 2:44 PM

      I know right. Really, it’s those that we work so hard for that makes us great so we just have to suck it up and do our best. Happy New Year Sam and goodluck on your plans for 2017. 🙂

      • Reply
        Sam Coronado (@followyouroad)
        January 6, 2017 at 4:01 PM

        Happy to hear that you also had blog sponsorships and even a trip to Japan this year! Also that you found work that you really wanted to do. Life isn’t perfect, but if every year we see something different or some improvement, it’s so much better. Definitely this year, there will be more of that. Cheers! 🙂

  • Reply
    Mr. Tripster
    January 4, 2017 at 12:13 AM

    MARJ!!!! GRABE! Reading this is like having a vision of the Immaculate Virgin Mary with plumbago lips and sequinned dress and a tiara on top of a big red hair telling me, “Stop whining bitch, just go gurl!”. Kidding aside, this entry is really enlightening.

    I remember that time, three years ago when I was under intense pressure because i had to write a short story for an Italian publication. It was my first ever short story written in Italian to be published, and i spent hours and sleepless nights doing research, editing and writing. That was one of the most intense moments of my life, and the result was a book that included my short story. It wasn’t easy. This year i should stop asking for what is easy….

    • Reply
      Marjorie Gavan
      January 4, 2017 at 4:08 AM

      Hey Mr. Tripster! I’m so happy you got to visit my little corner of the universe again haha… Thanks so much for reading and I’m glad you liked it. Here’s to us “awesome” people who are willing to put in the hard work to be the best among the rest!

  • Reply
    EG III
    January 3, 2017 at 7:01 AM

    “If it wasn’t difficult then everybody would be doing it…it’s not supposed to be easy”
    Words to live by for sure. Great video, thanks for sharing. Hoping 2017 is your hardest year yet (in a good way!)

    • Reply
      Marjorie Gavan
      January 4, 2017 at 2:31 PM

      Sure EG III and thank you! 🙂

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